Day 3, Day 1 of Surgery: I am covered in...

Sweat
Rain
Tears
Blood (My own.. papercuts..;)
Dirt
Snot
Spit
Smoke
Grime
Bubble residue
Markers
Kisses
Bruises
Dirt
Dust
Soreness.. everywhere.
Layers and layers of Hi-Geen (Jordanian Purel)
and more dirt.

Yet I have never been more content.

Today was the first day of surgery. It started a little bit earlier. Breakfast: 5:45. Meeting 6:15, Buses to the hospital: 6:30. It is still raining. On the 45 minute bus ride,  I was just thinking and I really got to think about what I wanted to do with my life. The answer (Which was never really easy) just came to me. I want to do THIS. I want to go on missions and help and be covered in grossness and make kids smile. I want to do that. I started to think about seriously being a Program Coordinator (Mission coordinator-- the person who organizes and executes the entire mission). I reallly want to do that. And also, after becoming good friends with Leslie (the Child Life Specialist), I have thought about that too. She gets to work with kids and just help them feel better.. It's just amazing. The last 2 days have felt so wonderful and comfortable. I love it.

I also did my SS on the bus- it's been the best time to do it. I can't reembmer where it was but I read somethign so profound that helped me today. Don't worry Cal, I am still PRO on this mission!! We got to the hospital and there weren't very many people there today because only those who were getting surgery came back. I looked at the schedule and I saw that my girl, Batool- she was on it! On the very first table! I was SO happy. She was seriously one of the MOST BEAUTIFUL girls I ahve ever seen. I can't remember what she had.. Maybe a cleft.. ahh.. shoot I can't remember. But I was so so so happy. her parents were soooooooo amazing yesterday. I just wanted to keep giving her more stuff. They operated on several babies and then I made some really great friends with several girls who came to get surgery today. It was a long day for them. We really had a lot of just play time and it was pretty chill, just because there wasn't hundreds of people. I felt more tired today only because I was sitting. The last 2 days, I had not sat down really. I was constantly up and about with kids and families or playing and keeping the energy up. Today was difficult for me. I wished that I could see all the beautiful faces that I saw yesterday, but I only saw a few.

The girls that I got clsoe with were upstairs. Their names were Shahad, Larabee, Isra', Janat, and Aima. I got some priceless photos with them. We played games and I braided hair, we colored and they sang the ABCs.. oh wow that was the most wonderful thing ever. They were doing really well untuil the "L M N O P" part.. that's where it was like "L DE  NFWO FNE ALIEPQP JN ... W VQ XZ!!!" It was so funny bc they totally thought it was right. I taught them how to play the game where you put your ahnds in a circle and then tap once for CW and tap twice for CC. They LOVED it.  I also taught them how to do another hand clap game. They taught me how to do something where based on the month you're born, you are a certain thing. Your forehead is January.. Nose is February.. Mouth is March.. etc. So The FH is Smart. Nose is Nosey, Mouth is talkative and Heart is kind/warm-hearted. I got warm hearted. It made me smile:)

The girls were so beautiful. Each has their own sotry and I wish I could put pictures up to show you ad tell you. That will be when I get home. My arabic has grown today. Sho Ismek? is What is your name? .. Hameel! is Beautifullllllllllll!, just misc. words and stuff. I love it.

I have made friends with a lot of the Jordanian team. There are two guys that I have just clicked with. Well, really everyone but they are my age.. one is 17, and the other is 16 (They both look like they are 20 and are like a foot and a half taller too haha) But they have been my friends. They are student volunteers with Op smile Jordan and they are so awesome. We joke and they tease me about my lack of Arabic and how I called Hazba(?) Pita bread hahaha they loved it. Then I tried saying other words they told me to say and then just laugh at my weak attempt. At least I was entertaining to people that were older than 6 :) I was sad to leave them today...


At the end of the day, we went to  Post-op. I saw some of the incredible children that I had seen earlier that day.. but they were different! They had undergone a 45 minute surgery taht will change their lives forever. The moms just had this.. look. I was so happy. I kept smiling and they kepy smiling and it was just like a dream. I showed them pictures of what they had looked like that mornign.. and I wasn't sure which was more beautiful. One girl- Janat- I really fell in love with her. She spent all day with me by my side. She had a little brother- Mohammed. I have NEVER heard a laugh like his. It was one of sheer, absolute, pure and genuine JOY. I blew bubbles with him for maybe half an hour and we played and he teased me.. Oh it aws so incredible. Everytime it would pop, I would just laugh and tease and he just had a BALL with it. Oh, how amazing a can of bubbles can be.. He is such a little stud. Janat got her surgery, and I am going to an orphanage tomorrow, so I won't see her again. Amanda and Taylor were kindof rushing to leave, and I just wanted to stay there. I went back to her room a few times and just held her hand as she slept with her family at her bedside in recovery. I felt tears and before I broke down, I told them I had to go and..  ugh. it was so hard. The bus ride back to the hotel was ridiculous. I am still teary eyed from just crying and crying to myself on the bus. Good thing it was dark and rainy so no one could see. I feel so much love for those people. They're mine. Janat- Shahad- Mohammed.. They are mine. I will remember them forever.

This mornign on the way to the hospital I was just thinking about what this mission means to me-- how it is changing me-- who I am- just evaluting myself. I came to the conclusion that I was pretty much a horrible person. Seriously. Service is and always had been an important and big part of my life. Or so I thought.  I lived by my motto that "Service is not a single or series of acts-- Service is a lifestyle".. but I'm not sure if I fully even understood myself there. I felt so guilty of who I was before I came here. I didnt' know what love was. I didn't know the impact of a smile. I cared about stupid thigns. I honestly thought to myself: WHAT was I doing before?!?!!?.. I have been in Jordan for 3 Days. 76 hours. I feel like I have been here for 2 months. I don't want to go home. Jordan is my home. It has made me want to be a better person. It has changed me. It has become a part of me. The people, the culture, the laughs, the memories.. everything here. I love it. I don't want to leave.

Tomorrow is an Orphanage day. Thursday, we are going to a school and either Tuesday or Wednesday we're going to a refugee camp. Today was wonderful.

Casey- I met Dr. Marty. He says hi:)

Shukran Shukran Shukran

Be prepard to hear me get my english mixed up with Arbic when I get home

Always
Lis